How To Fix Marriage Problems - How You Talk Really Matters
It doesn't really matter how far gone you suspect your marital relationship may be right now. If you have the desire to try and rekindle the emotion and spark that was once there, then it is time to reconsider the way in which you communicate with your spouse. The fastest way to fix marriage problems is to change the dialogue that is exchanged between the two people.
There is one big difference between many couples who work out their problems and move onto a happy future and those that end in ruin: excellent communication skills. If you think you already have this and it isn't a problem, you are not alone. In fact, many people who come at their spouses all wrong and set up conflict often believe they have impeccable communication skills.
It is highly likely that you are doing this without knowing it. Something as simple as the tone of your voice or the exact words chosen to express a feeling can shut down the line of communication before it actually opens.
The problem is that there is such a surge of raw, painful emotion that lurks behind every conversation a struggling couple has. In order to push past this, you have to first recognize it is there. Then, you need new strategies to get your spouse to drop his/her guard and have a real conversation that can lead to healing action.
For starters, the time that you pick to talk with your spouse should always be when they are in a good mood and relaxed. So, you don't want to come at them the second they come home from being fired at their job or just seconds after they hang up the phone from a tense work related conversation.
Next, you want to control your tone of voice so that it does not even hint that you may be angry with them or that you blame them for something that is going on. The wrong tone can shut down any chance of your spouse really listening to you before you even get to what you really want to say.
Finally, take the time prior to this meeting to figure out exactly what you want to say, or even write it down. Carefully phrase every single line so that you never state things that place blame. You want to just focus on yourself and your own feelings. Stating your love for them is another great move.
This is not a definite way to fix all of your marriage problems overnight, but it can in fact set a new tone for the way you communicate with one another so that future conversations are more healing and less conflicted.
There is one big difference between many couples who work out their problems and move onto a happy future and those that end in ruin: excellent communication skills. If you think you already have this and it isn't a problem, you are not alone. In fact, many people who come at their spouses all wrong and set up conflict often believe they have impeccable communication skills.
It is highly likely that you are doing this without knowing it. Something as simple as the tone of your voice or the exact words chosen to express a feeling can shut down the line of communication before it actually opens.
The problem is that there is such a surge of raw, painful emotion that lurks behind every conversation a struggling couple has. In order to push past this, you have to first recognize it is there. Then, you need new strategies to get your spouse to drop his/her guard and have a real conversation that can lead to healing action.
For starters, the time that you pick to talk with your spouse should always be when they are in a good mood and relaxed. So, you don't want to come at them the second they come home from being fired at their job or just seconds after they hang up the phone from a tense work related conversation.
Next, you want to control your tone of voice so that it does not even hint that you may be angry with them or that you blame them for something that is going on. The wrong tone can shut down any chance of your spouse really listening to you before you even get to what you really want to say.
Finally, take the time prior to this meeting to figure out exactly what you want to say, or even write it down. Carefully phrase every single line so that you never state things that place blame. You want to just focus on yourself and your own feelings. Stating your love for them is another great move.
This is not a definite way to fix all of your marriage problems overnight, but it can in fact set a new tone for the way you communicate with one another so that future conversations are more healing and less conflicted.
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