Spiritual Action

If you've had a break-up, you're probably either trying to figure out how to get over the person, or how to win back lost love. Neither is very easy, but the majority fall to one or the other, with only very few in a position to move on quickly without pining or wishing things could be different. You should actually think hard about the relationship and your ex before you do anything. Think about how things were and how they will be now. Try to be as unprejudiced as you can. You might decide that the break-up really isn't a bad idea.

If you make a decision to try and win back lost love, the first step is to say sorry. You might think you've done this. You might have asserted you were sorry several times. But if your ex thought you were saying sorry solely to stop a break-up, he or she would not believe the apology was sincere.

If you were the one that did something you need to apologize for, apologize again. Now they'd believe the apology is sincere, because nothing hinges on it. If the relationship has ended, you will not be announcing it only to save it but they'll believe that you truly mean it. (And hopefully, you do.)

When your ex was the one who did something worth apologizing for, then instead of try and get a sincere apology from them, pardon them. You can never forget, especially if your split was due to cheating, but you need to learn to excuse. Forgiving is much harder for many of us than just announcing, "I forgive you," though, so you might want to read a book or two on forgiveness and how to truly mean it. If you need to win back lost love, this step will help you do it. And it can help stop issues in the future, too.

If you do succeed and you win back lost love, 3 or six or nine months into the just patched relationship, old issues might come up. If you have not forgiven the person for whatever was done to break up the relationship, then you might have a tough time getting past everything. Old wounds would be reopened and it's possible that malicious things would be claimed.

But if you can truly forgive the person, then there will not be any necessity to rehash the past. While you are working on forgiving him for for whatever occurred to cause the break up, excuse them for the break up itself and you'll save yourself lots of grief down the road.

Also, to win back lost love, show the person the "you" they fell in love with, not the "you" that has been dumped. They were with you as you have certain qualities-kindness, thoughtfulness-not because you are indignant, envious or hurt. While you might not be able to hide the hurt, concentrate on being the best "you" you can possibly be and you may win back lost love by reminding them why they loved you in the first place.