Ask Yourself - Is He The Right Man?

By Alan Bentley

When you have been dating for a little while and things seem to be going quite smoothly, it is normal to wonder whether you are doing the right thing for the long term. Is he the right man, you ask yourself. While the answer to this question is generally discovered over a period of time and can often be answered from your heart, there are several things that you need to observe to help you decipher this problem.

Human nature dictates that when two people get together with the aim of striking up a relationship, they tend to behave the best. This is quite normal and is to be expected and is one of the main reasons why each party should take a lot of time to decide whether a particular association is right for them. Understand that behaviors modify over time and you only get a true picture by waiting and watching.

If you ever find yourself asking " is he the right man, then you may be subconsciously remembering something that has happened over the early stages of your relationship. Always be on the lookout for subtle signs of potential behavioral imbalances. Remember that we are all human, and there will be disagreements and even arguments from time to time, but you should get a good idea of what may happen in the future during these times.

If and when a conflict arises, pay particular attention to how your guy handles the situation. Does he dig in and defend his position at all costs? Understand that arguments and conflicts should be worked out mutually and not left to fester. If you find that he withdraws and doesn't want to discuss it and this happens quite often, this is potentially a bad sign.

Is he the right man for you? Take an overall look at how he values your feelings, happiness and opinions and you will likely get the answer. Both parties must respect the other person's situation in this way, although it is natural given our hectic day-to-day existence for problems to appear.

Have you ever been waiting somewhere for your guy to arrive and that horrible feeling that you may have been stood up surfaces? This is one of the fundamental elements that will dictate whether a relationship is likely to work or not. Pay good attention to whether he is on time or calls to let you know that he has been delayed or give you good notice that plans may be changing. If you notice this kind of behavior, difficulties will definitely be on the horizon.

Before you make a commitment of any kind and seek to answer the question -- is he the right man -- remember that you should never overlook bad patterns of behavior, even if you really want to. Normally, the answer to your question will come from within you as these instincts are generally correct.

Rule number one when courting, is that you should have a lengthy dating period, before deciding to move onto anything more concrete. This will allow you plenty of time to foresee any potential problems and when it comes to making a decision, it will be rather easy.

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